Three Ways to Keep Teens from Graduating from their Faith

Posted on May 13, 2013 | Leave a comment

This past Saturday, I attended “The Gathering,” with five other youth leaders from our church. It was a training/conference put on by Berea. This year, the main speakers were Sharon Ketcham (Gordon College) and Reggie Joiner (Orange/reThink). While they somewhat came from two different points-of-view, they both had the goal of helping churches change the staggering statistics of the number of teens who walk away from their faith and the church once they graduate high school (and youth group). Their points boiled down to these three main concepts:

Involvement in the Church
One of the issues with many church youth ministries is that they have a great program for teens, but they are not always encouraging the students to get involved in the entire life of the church. Actually, there are some churches who are even opposed to teens serving at all, let along outside the youth group. If we are going to help change the statistics, we need to help teens understand the importance of being involved, and we have to help them understand what roles they can play. At RCC, this starts with a “spiritual gifts inventory” test that we have our high school leaders take. This helps them identify some of the abilities God has given them. Then, we help them try out different ministry roles. Sometimes it works out, but other times, they realize that is not where they belong. If needed, we try again with something else. This is a similar approach we take with our adults. If all goes well, they will realize they are a vital part of the church and not just a teen who attends youth group. The goal is to help them understand this before they graduate, so they will begin craving it no matter where they go for college or work in t he future.

Churches Need to Partner with Parents
If you have been reading my blog over the past couple years, you will not find this as a completely new concept. It is the thought behind Orange. However, this might be the first time I’m writing about it in connection with helping teens now “graduate” from their faith and the church. As with the other concept, this starts when the student is still with the church, before graduating. Churches can do all they can, but the reality is that parents have more time with their kids than the church, so we need to help parents do the best they can. We need to provide resources, we need to be on the same page, we need to pursuing the same goals, we need to champion the parent-child relationship, and we need to support parents in their effort to offer spiritual direction for their kids. Honestly, a teen may not step foot into our church building ever again once they graduate high school, but they probably will keep in contact with their parents. As youth leaders, we need to make sure we take care of our parents, loving them, and supporting their efforts. One Wayne do this at RCC is through our monthly parent group, where we tell them what we are teaching that month, and we suggest questions they can ask at home to carry on the discussion.

Develop a Strategy
We need to develop a plan for out ministry to teens. Too many churches approach student ministry so lazily. I am thankful to my youth ministry professor, Rondel Ramsey, for teaching me this early on in my ministry career. Reggie suggest a list for “What students need to know.” He didn’t say every church’s list should be the same, but he said this was a good place to start, and I agree.

    1) God’s love is bigger than religion.
    2) I will be present even if you never believe what I believe.
    3) No one’s faith is 100%. “If you don’t allow them to process their own doubt, they will never own their own faith.”
    4) I am not trying to change you.
    5) The Bible is not just a good book.
    6) I want to help you discover a bigger story.

Sure, there are many other ideas out there, and I am definitely not saying that these are the only three keys to keep teens in the church. What I am saying that these are three great ways to start moving in that direction. We are in the beginning stages of offering more for our college-aged students at RCC, as well, so expect more insights and stories later this year on that. Until then, let me know what has worked at your church and student ministry. What has aided in your effort to change the statistics?

→ Leave a comment

Posted in HS to College Transition, Orange

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Orange Conference 2013 – Follow these Bloggers!

Posted on April 26, 2013 | 1 Comment

orange_logo.jpgThe 2013 Orange Conference is wrapping up today. Unfortunately, I was not able to attend this year. I am hoping next year will be different. So, because I was not there to blog about the workshops and main sessions, I wanted to pass on a list of amazing bloggers, who have been and will be sharing their experiences like crazy! Be sure to follow these people for both the Orange Conference and throughout the year.

You can also follow everyone along on Twitter by searching #OC13 and #thinkorange.

→ 1 Comment

Posted in Orange

Tagged , , , , , , ,

What Can I Do? – A Response to the Boston Bombings

Posted on April 16, 2013 | 1 Comment

Photo by Aaron “tango” Tang

As one of the biggest running events neared its conclusion yesterday in Boston, time seemed to stop. However, it was not because of a particular underrated runner finishing the 26.2 miles or anything like that. No, this stoppage of time occurred due to the supposed heinous act of an individual or group, who wanted to cause harm to many people. Much like the Oklahoma City bombing, the Columbine School shooting, the events of 9/11, and others, the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing will now go down in history. Unfortunately, it will not be known for an extremely fast runner. Instead, it will be the day at least three families lost a loved one. It will be the day that a friend lost a limb. And it will be the day that many people lost hope in society.

What can I do? That is often the question people ask in a time like this. Sure, there are ways you can physically help in times of need. They will need people to aid with cleanup, and they need adults to give blood, but that often does not answer the question for people. They still are left wondering what they can do. While I am not an expert, and there is certainly much to do at a time like this, I do have a couple suggestions for those of us who find our hope in Christ.

These are the times when we need to pray. Yes, we should pray every day, but when the world is quickly losing hope, we need to get on our knees. We need to cry out to the One who provides hope. We need to pray that they will find their answers in Him. We need to pray for the churches in the area – that they will not lose heart or energy reaching out to those in need. We need to pray for the doctors, nurses, and other medical staff – that they will obtain wisdom and practice expertise, as they treat the victims. We need to pray for the law enforcement – that they will find answers, seek justice, and help everyone feel safe. We need to pray that God will use such a time like this to bring many into a relationship with Him.

Times like these are certainly horrific, but they are also times when people are often most open to ask questions they may not ask any other time. When those questions do come, we need to be ready to point them to the God who loves them. Even though we may not know the exact reason why these horrible things happen, we know the God who never fails. Further, we have a hope that He will rescue us from it all one day. That is the kind of hope people are looking for in the middle of tragedy. They want to know it will be all right. Yes, the pain still exists, but there will be a day when it will be gone. Yes, the hurt is still there, but a time is coming when we will know it no more. Yes, there is a period of suffering here on this earth, but we have a hope that He will take it all away. As the world desperately looks for something to cling to, those of us who know this hope need to share it.

As for my wife, myself, and those at our church, we are standing by, waiting to hear if there is anything more we can do. Being only 30 miles away from the city, we assume there are people we know who were personally affected. Specifically, we have friends living in Boston, and they have told us they will keep us informed on what we can do. Until we know more, though, we will continue praying and seeking ways to point people to Christ. I urge you to join us.

→ 1 Comment

Posted in Prayer, Thinking Out Loud

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Eggs, Baskets, and Me

Posted on April 15, 2013 | Leave a comment

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

The idiom goes, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” This is probably one of those sayings that people use in an off-handed manner, but it actually has much more meaning than one would expect. Better yet, the Bible has something to say about it. The Apostle Paul says it this way:  “’I have the right to do anything,’ you say—but not everything is beneficial. ‘I have the right to do anything’—but I will not be mastered by anything” (1 Cor. 6:12).

Yesterday, this was the central idea of the lesson at Youth Group. We were  talking specifically about dating, and how it is rather easy to put all our eggs in the dating basket. Meanwhile, all the other baskets of life are overlooked; and before long, our lives are out of balance. Just because anything is possible, not everything is helpful, and we need to make sure none of it masters us.

I taught this lesson before at Youth Group, about five years ago. This time, though, it caused me to do a lot of personal reflection, and I realized I have struggled with this in different ways throughout my life. Not only did I put all my eggs in dating baskets at times, but other baskets have been quite full and lopsided too. For instance, the last few months, my school basket has outweighed my friends, family, and hobbies baskets. The good thing is that there is an end in sight for this. Nonetheless, I am sure I will struggle, later, with something else occupying the majority of my time. I would like to say it is easier as a minister, but it is not. Sometimes, even church and ministry can be the full basket, and other areas are overlooked.

The idea is to always keep yourself in check, and sometimes it will probably take having another person look out for you and hold you accountable. As a youth pastor, this is important for many reasons. Not only are we supposed to be growing in our relationship with God, we are also called to set an example for the teenagers in our ministry. Yes, we are human, and we mess up, but that is why James says, “we who teach will be judged more strictly” (James 3:1). This is why accountability is extremely important. If you do not have at least one person in your life who holds you to what you are supposed to be doing, it needs to happen. That is why God created the church as a community, because we are to help and encourage one another to keep our lives in check and in balance, all the while focusing on God.

If any basket is to be overflowing, it needs to be the basket of our relationship with God. Because if that is going well, the other baskets tend to fall in line where they should.

So, as I asked our small group last night, where are your eggs right now? Are they all in one basket or spread out evenly throughout your life?

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Thinking Out Loud

Tagged , , , , , ,

Addressing the Controversy of Bibles and Prayer in School

Posted on April 9, 2013 | Leave a comment

Bibles-in-school_Someecard_FalseThe other day, I saw one of those “someecard” things on Facebook that said, “Bibles aren’t allowed in schools anymore, but encouraged in prisons.” I could not help but think to myself, “That’s not exactly true.” Bibles are allowed in schools, and so is prayer.

It has often been said that as long as there are tests in schools, there will always be prayer in schools. While it is meant to be funny, there is also has a lot of truth that statement. There are even prayer groups and prayer rallies in schools around the world, like “See You at the Pole,” which happens every September. Teachers cannot force a child to go, but they cannot stop it from happening.

Similarly, they cannot stop a student from bringing their Bible to class. However, it is important to remember the Bible should not be a distraction from school itself. It is just the same as another book. As long as students are not distracted themselves or distracting other students from what needs to be done, there is nothing unlawful about bringing or reading a Bible. So, if a student wants to read during lunch or something, a school has no right to prevent that.

Speaking of evangelism in schools, Brad Dacus talks about the “Big Lie” of the separation of church and state. The concept actually comes from Thomas Jefferson, who said he believed government should not step in and make decisions within the church – not the other way around. Dacus says very bluntly, “The next time a school administrator, teacher, or government official attempts to silence you with the big lie, just ask him or her to show you where it is in the Constitution” (Reclaim Your School, pg. 21). He goes on to state, “The greatest curtailment of evangelism in public schools is not the absence of legal opportunities, but the ignorance of legal opportunities” (pg. 22).

The law and school rules might prevent teachers from leading their students in prayer or teaching from the Bible as truth, and thus promoting Christianity, but that does not keep students from bringing their own copy of the Scriptures with them, praying on their own, or telling others about their faith in Jesus. In fact, if a student is told they cannot bring a Bible or pray in school, parents and students should know that is against the law. It is important to remember, as stated earlier, that the Bible should not be a distraction to a school’s curriculum. Therefore, children should not avoid paying attention in class, because they are reading their Bible. Instead, they should be respectful, and read between class or during lunch.

If you want to know more on this topic, I highly recommend reading “Reclaim Your School” by Brad & Suzanne Dacus. They explain the actual law, and they also suggest ways for students to legally share the Gospel in their schools.

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Thinking Out Loud

Tagged , , , , , ,

When Does Your Excitement Begin?

Posted on April 1, 2013 | Leave a comment

excited-man-pixabayThe other day, when I finished my fourth chapter of my thesis and my wife finished her third chapter, she began getting excited for the end. She looked at me and said something like, “Aren’t you happy!?” Then, after talking a bit, she realized this was just another time when she was going to have to wait to see my excitement.

My wife and I are similar in many ways, but one of the ways we differ is in our outlook with regard to excitement and anticipation. She is someone who gets very excited just knowing something is going to happen. For instance, she could not sleep days and weeks before we took our vacation to Walt Disney World last year. Similarly, she gets excited knowing what her birthday or Christmas gift is ahead of time, just because she loves the anticipation. I, on the other hand, do not get very excited about things before they happen. When it came to vacation, my happiness did not really start until I saw the welcome sign to Disney. I also do not want to know what my gifts are ahead of time. So, when it comes to this thesis, I will not experience complete excitement probably until I get the final word that I am all done, or it might even have to wait until after I walk across the stage and receive my diploma/degree.

In a way, I envy my wife’s outlook on life. Specifically, I think to how I should probably have more excitement about upcoming events in the life of the church. The biggest thing that should leave me elated is Jesus’ return and my upcoming home in Heaven, forever with the God who loves me so much. Sure, this does get me excited, but I often wonder if I should be even more happy. I mean, this is the greatest thing a Christ-follower will experience, and yet, does it affect me enough to change everything I do? I like to think it does, but I also cannot help to think I still have room to grow.

So, when does your excitement begin? Are you someone who loves the anticipation, or are you one who has to see it first? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Thesis, Thinking Out Loud

Tagged , , , ,

Thoughts on the Cross and Empty Tomb

Posted on March 26, 2013 | 1 Comment

cross-66700_640

Ever since teaching the high school youth group a couple weeks ago, I’ve been thinking the cross of Jesus. Why is it that we place so much importance on the cross? Now, do not hear me wrong. I do not mean to downplay it at all! What I do mean to do is elevate something else, in addition to the cross.

Yes, the cross is incredibly important to us – it is how our punishment was taken for us and how we were shown forgiveness. However, I believe the empty tomb is also incredibly important. In it, Jesus conquered death for us, and we have hope of also conquering it when we live for Him. I do not think one is more important than the other. Together, they make up the most important part of our faith, as Christians.

So, why do we talk about the cross all year long in churches, but we tend to only mention the empty tomb around Easter? Yes, I know we do this about Jesus’ birth around Christmas, too, but that is another topic for another day. I do not think I am alone in considering Jesus’ resurrection just as equal as His death, so why do we not speak of it that much until the spring? Both come together as the key turning point in history, and they are the combined moment when we were able to truly connect with our Holy God.

Perhaps you and your church do focus on the resurrection quite often. If so, great job. For the rest of us, maybe we should remember the whole picture, instead of just the solemn “end.” Just because Jesus said, “It is finished,” does not mean that was it. I think He was referring to something else being finished. The weekend (and our hope) was just beginning!

→ 1 Comment

Posted in Thinking Out Loud

Tagged , , , , , , ,

When Life Throws a Curveball

Posted on March 18, 2013 | 2 Comments

Creative Commons image from Alex Voerman.

Ahhh,  the dreaded curveball. I’m not much into baseball anymore, but when I was a kid, it was my least favorite pitch, and I know that is not just the case for little league. In life, it’s those times when things are looking good, but then, they take a turn and leave you swinging at nothing but air.

Last night was the night. There I was, making significant progress on my thesis, halfway through writing when, all of the sudden, the inevitable happened – the curveball. To make a long story short, here is what happened:

When I originally started my thesis, years ago, I was told I could write in whatever style format I chose. Since I was most familiar with MLA, that was my choice. Unfortunately, the administration at the school changed, which also meant rules change. Somehow, I missed that memo, and after turning in two chapters, and about halfway through my third, I find out I need to switch everything to Chicago/Turabian format. As you can assume, I was devastated. I literally felt the wind knocked out of me.

You know what? Even though we have a hard time with curveballs, they are God’s specialty. Those times when we have little to no hope are the times when God loves to show up and shine. After some prayers by my wife, other family, friends, and myself, I started my late-night reading a Chicago style handbook. Slowly but surely, things began looking up. Not only were the bibliography styles somewhat similar, I began realizing that this new style would probably be better in the long run. Sure, I still have a lot of work ahead of me, but I’m not swinging at the air like I was last night. Thanks to my Heavenly Father, I’m still in the game!

So, when life throws you a curveball, just remember we have a God who LOVES the curveball, and is ready to knock it out of the park!

———-
To keep up on the status of my M.A. thesis, check out my “Thesis Update” page.

→ 2 Comments

Posted in Thesis, Thinking Out Loud

Album Review: Kings & Queens (Audio Adrenaline)

Posted on March 12, 2013 | Leave a comment

audioadrenaline_kingsandqueens_facebook_banner

A while back, I heard one of my favorite Christian Rock bands were making a comeback. Audio Adrenaline, who stopped touring in 2007, due to their lead-singer and co-founder, Mark Stuart’s vocal challenges. Instead, they began focusing on their mission work in Haiti, the “Hands & Feet Project.” In 2012, they announced they would soon begin again with a new band.

The only returning member is Will McGinniss, on bass. The rest of the band is quite an ensemble of  talent, though. Kevin Max (dcTalk) is taking lead vocals, Dave Ghazarian (Superchick) is on lead guitar, Jared Byers (Bleach, Relient K) takes a seat behind the drums, and Jason Walker (Know Hope Collective) is providing keyboards and additional vocals.

The biggest song is the title track, which is an emotional anthem for all, but it especially has the children of Haiti in mind. King of the Comebacks is also a fun track that seems to have a double meaning. While they are obviously singing of Jesus, they also allude to their own comeback. Mark is even featured in a small vocal portion near the end, which is a great bonus. Other standout songs include Change My Name, 20:17, and The Answer. While some may notice a theme of redemption that flows throughout the album, others may not catch a connection between all the songs. In that way, it does seem like a few steps back for the band, but this is somewhat expected, given that it is basically a brand new group. So, while it does have a feeling of a new band’s first album, I only expect them to get better and better as they begin to gel as AudioA 2.0.

I was initially apprehensive about this new group, but this album is really good. While Kevin is a great singer, he does bring a different sound than Mark. Jason also has a great voice, but he does not remind me of Tyler Burkum. I will say, though, that both Dave and Jared are amazing on the guitar and drums, respectively! In the end, it might not be the same old AudioA, but that does not mean it is bad. If you can get past the absence of Mark at lead vocals, you will realize this is a great record.

The additional advantage of this new AudioA is that they have stated up-front that much of the profits of this new effort will go to support the Hands & Feet Project, which means orphans and abandoned children in Haiti will also benefit from this album and tour. So, if you want to help children in Haiti and hear some uplifting Christian Rock, then give “Kings & Queens” a listen. At the very least, head to your favorite online music store and listen to the free samples.

audioadrenaline_kingsandqueens_albumart

For more on Audio Adrenaline, including their tour dates and where to buy their albums, check out http://www.audioa.com.

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Music, Reviews

Finding Motivation

Posted on March 7, 2013 | Leave a comment

Image courtesy of Herd Wisdom

Do you ever feel as if you are moving at a snail’s pace? Or possibly even slower? Have you gotten to the point where you find it difficult to continue? I’m not talking about depression – that’s another topic. I mean those times when you know you need to do something, but it is extremely tough to take that next step, possibly because of the daunting nature of the overall project at hand?

This has been my life over the past six years. Yes, it has been six years since I began to work on my M.A. thesis. In the beginning, it wasn’t that hard to find motivation. However, after my first proposal was denied, my life began changing. I moved to NH to start a new ministry, I got married, and life began to quickly get in the way. I struggled to find motivation to complete it, despite the fact that I truly did want to get it done.

Finally, I found my motivation last fall. The school basically said I have to finish, or I will have to re-enroll. There you go! That’s what did it for me. Since then, I re-wrote my proposal, and I am now going through my research for my third out of five chapters. Yes, the time-crunch is there, because graduation is in May, but I have the motivation again.

What motivates you when times get tough? When you feel like you cannot start again or continue moving forward, what pushes you to take that first step toward completion? Maybe it is a fitness goal. Maybe it is an educational goal. Maybe it is a social goal. Maybe it is just getting off the couch to do the dishes. I think this is very important when it comes to our spiritual walk with God. Sometimes, for whatever reason, we lack motivation. Last night during our study on The Circle Maker, a student asked me what motivates me to pray intensely and consistently. After informing him that I am far from perfect in this area, I pointed to the times when God has answered prayers in the past and when I know something is definitely within His perfect will. At those times, I am motivated to pray like crazy. Unfortunately, there are other times when I lack that motivation… when I forget or neglect God’s power.

So, what about you? What gets you going? Is it one of those posters? Is it a story? Is it a trusted friend? Is it an ultimatum that is placed upon you? Is it a look at the whole picture? Is it remembering God? Is it a recollection of the past? Whatever it is, I urge you to run to it every time you feel yourself lacking. Meanwhile, I am going to try taking my own advice.

—–

Image above from Herd Wisdom.

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Thinking Out Loud

Tagged , , , ,