Tag Archives: stevecullum

Confidence vs. Humility

A contrast that has often boggled me is the idea of confidence and humility. I strongly believe we are to be both, but to be honest, I think this is a difficult balance. As our lead minister, Tom, says, “It’s not one or the other, it’s both.” So, how are we to be both? How are we to walk this fine line as a Christian leader?

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This idea popped in my head just the other day when I was filling out one of the numerous nomination forms for our high school students (another thing I did not realize I would be doing as much as I do). The form asked about the student’s strengths and weaknesses. While I listed humility as a strength, I also found myself listing the lack of confidence as a weaker area. Then, I began thinking and realized again how difficult this is. In all honesty, it is something I struggle with as well. When others evaluate my ministry, I often find similar responses. Further, it is the same thing I see in myself. I often want to be confident and stand up for Christ and His Kingdom, but at the same time, I do not want to seem overbearing and have a “Look at me!” type of attitude. After all, it is about God — not me.

Then, I read Scriptures that say, “Such confidence we have through Christ before God” (2 Cor. 3:4), followed by others that say, “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble’” (1 Peter 5:5). It is obvious that both are important to God, but where is the fulcrum in this equation? Where should we draw the line? I think it resides, as it usually does, in Christ. In Him, we see the perfect balance of Godly confidence and Godly humility.

With further study, I came across Scriptures such as, “Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him” (Jeremiah 17:7), “And now, dear children, continue in Him, so that when He appears we may be confident and unashamed before Him at His coming” (1 John 2:28), and “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom” (James 3:13).

It seems that our confidence needs to come straight from God. As we hand out lives over to Him, and as we look to Him, we will begin to see that we are nothing compared to Him. In that moment is where true humility resides. In that instance, we are confronted with the fact that we are in the presence of the Almighty God of the Universe, and we are nothing but a little speck on earth. And then, at that same moment, we realize that this God loves us with all His being. He loves us enough to make this entire world for us and sent His Son to die in our place. This Almighty God has our back! That is where the confidence comes in. It is not confidence that we have in ourselves. Paul says that self-confidence is foolish (2 Cor. 11:7). Instead, it is a confidence that comes from wisdom — an understanding that God is so much bigger than us, and He wants what is best for us.

As I seek to find this balance within my own life, I urge you to do the same. Find yourself in the presence of the one true God, realize exactly who He is, and then realize that He loves you. Then, I believe, you will be able to humble yourself before God while also remaining confident in Him.

The Importance of Networking

I am going to be honest (as if I’m not at other times??) with you all. When I am with students, I often feel like a different person than when I am on my own with a group of adults. With the students, I am outgoing and sometimes crazy. With adults, I am more reserved and introverted. Therefore, when it comes to networking with other youth workers, I do not feel naturally inclined to go out of my way to make it happen. Nonetheless, God knows better for me. He placed some ideas of this in my head back at the Orange Conference, and He has been making things happen ever since.

Currently, I meet with two different groups of youth workers. One is a monthly meeting that includes a wider geographical area. The other is a group of guys who live closer together. The first primarily exists for networking, while the other has grown to something beyond that. We often partner in doing ministry. God has also provided other random opportunities to network in the last year or so with conferences, retreats, and other events. All of these groups are also cross-denominational, which has been an excellent bonus!

I say all this for one main reason. God has reminded me of the importance of networking with others who are also passionate about youth ministry. It has been great to get connected with these others around me. It is a time to bounce ideas around. It is a venue to share frustrations and excitement with a group of people who share similar experiences. It is a healthy, fun time to grow beyond our little circles of influence. I would encourage everyone in ministry to find a network of other ministers in your area. Get together regularly for opportunities to share, connect, and grow. If you do not know where to start, I encourage you to check out the National Network of Youth Ministries website. They have resources available to help you connect with others.

Student Loan Debt – Part 1 of 2

Today, a good portion of our savings will be used to pay off my side of our student loans. It is an odd, strange, exciting, frustrating feeling. To start with, I thought it was going to take much longer, but God has provided. My 10 year loans were paid in 4-5 years. However, it is weird that our false sense of having money is now gone. Even though we were in debt, we usually did not function that way. We saw the savings account and thought we were doing ok. So, now that it is significantly lower, it has been a reality check time. Therefore, this time of excitement that we should be having is instead replaced with a shock to our systems. Sure, it is a good feeling to be halfway done, but we are not yet able to reap the full benefits just yet. Now, the money that was going to pay my loans have been transferred over to pay more on Yvette’s.

Friends who have been through Dave Ramsey’s “Financial Peace University” say this is a good thing, and I know it is, but it is still tough. Believe me when I say that I am understanding the Proverb that says the borrower is a slave to the lender. Not that we are physically slaves, but it is not fun to have debt hanging over your head all the time. Thanks to an amazing God, though, who has blessed us enough to begin getting out from under that cloud.

I hope and pray that Part 2 of this blog post will not be far behind, when at that time, we can truly rejoice as we are completely debt free…

Two Becoming One

Last year, I made a list of 14 reasons why I love my wife. I don’t plan on doing that again, because those reasons still hold true. However, I want to take a different approach. Today, I want to talk about how important it is for me to be married, specifically in connection with ministry.

During our pre-marital counseling, one of the Bible Scriptures we covered was the one about “two becoming one” (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:8). This is something you hear quite a bit when you go to weddings. It is one of the common things said, but I never really grasped the full meaning until that time. (Of course, I still don’t FULLY grasp it, but I am closer.) God brings us together for many reasons, but one of the reasons is so that we can complement each other for His Kingdom. There are many areas where I do not excel; however, those are areas where Yvette shines. Because God brought us together, we are able to reach more people with God’s love, and we are able to share the Gospel with a further reach than on our own. In our short three years of marriage, we have already seen ways that God has combined our skills/gifts in order to reach people and help them. Those are the times that I love the most — when we are fully partnering for His greater good! I am convinced that it is one of the best experiences one can have!

So, my encouragement today, for those of you who are looking to “become one” someday with another person, is to look at it from God’s perspective. Who might He want to be your partner? Who can fully complement you? And who do you see yourself working hand in hand with for His Kingdom? If you find that person, I guarantee you will have a life-long marriage of more than just material happiness!

Come to the Orange Conference with Your Team!

As we round out this “Orange Week,” I wanted to share more of my experiences. Between the two years of OC, I have went with a team, and I have gone as the only one from my church. Both were great experiences in their own right, and I could argue both sides. Today, though, I wanted to share some reasons why I think you should bring your team along.

First, it is just more fun! You can carpool, share hotel rooms, and always have a group of people to hang out with. Let’s face it. It is sometimes scary to go to a conference by yourself, especially when you know no one else. If you bring your team, you are always guaranteed to have a friend around.

Second, you can immediately share ideas. One of the most difficult things I face when going alone to a conference is trying to take all the notes I can, remember all the ideas I got, and then try to flesh them out in my own words when I get home. If your team comes along, that problem is eliminated. Even better, you can instantly discuss what you each learned, multiplying the effects of each main session and workshop.

Finally, you can share expenses. With the way our economy is today, it is tough for some people to even find enough extra cash for a cheeseburger. If you bring your team along, you can split the costs of things like rental cars and hotel bills. If you bring a big enough group (15 or more), you can even get a discount on your OC registration.

See… It is definitely worth it to bring your team along with you to the Orange Conference!

What do I Hope to Gain from Orange Conference 2012?

As I continue talking about this idea of Orange, I wanted to share some thoughts regarding what I hope for this year at the Orange Conference. Yesterday, I talked about the big things I love about the event, but today, I want to get into some details. Specifically, what do I want to gain from OC12?

First, I want to learn more on how I can help transition our high school students to college and beyond. You may remember my post a couple weeks ago, where I shared the beginning of our journey in this area of ministry. It is something that is increasingly important for the church today. Way too many students are abandoning their faith when they go off to college or work, and I want to learn all I can in order to change that.

Second, I want to learn more from other student ministers on their structure of youth group. One of the things controlling my mind lately is how to structure for future growth. I have been trying to pick the brains of local youth pastors about how they structure their weekly meetings and small groups. I look forward to gaining more wisdom at OC12.

Finally, I want to learn more about implementing a mentoring program within our student ministry. My thesis is on this idea of mentoring, and how it is crucial to a growing student ministry. I strongly believe that is the case, especially when you consider the amount of students coming from broken homes — many without a strong Christian father. The church and family needs to join efforts in order to combat this, and I am looking forward to what OC12 will teach me.

What am I Most Looking Forward to at Orange Conference 2012?

This April will be my third trip to the Orange Conference. It has become something that I look forward to each spring, as it is a staple in my growth as a minister. However, I have begun to think about why I am so excited about OC12. What are the main reasons I am looking forward to attending this conference for the third time?

First, I get to sit at the feet of some of the experts in the area of family ministries. I realized early on in my ministry “career” that I have a great deal to learn. I am far from perfect, and one of the best places to learn are from the fantastic speakers and leaders that come to the OC.

Second, I get to connect with other ministers who are passionate about family ministries. Not only do I get to meet the excellent OC blogging team, but I also am able to connect with other youth ministers at various times. The most fun is when we get together for a fun night at Dave & Busters.

Finally, I get to spend a week with little responsibility. Many of the trips I take involve watching after teenagers. At the OC, I get to kick back and relax a bit. It is a great feeling to go into a time of worship without having to make sure all your students are there. Instead, you can just focus on God, which is always a great thing!

Orange Week – February 6-10, 2012

It is that time of year again — Orange Week! Several bloggers around the world will be flooding the inter-webs with thoughts on Orange, the Orange Conference, and family ministry. For those not “in the know” about Orange, it is essentially a philosophy of how to combine the church and family. These are two institutions God established, and we believe that they need to partner together. The Bible is filled with examples of why this should happen, but we also have many modern-day examples/experiences as well. This is especially crucial, due to the current state of both the family and church in today’s culture.

For my first post, I just wanted to point you to others who will be posting about Orange this week. Be sure to check out their blogs this week and beyond!

 

High School to College Transition: Beginning the Journey

Graduation Cap And DiplomaOne of the areas of youth/student ministry that I strongly believe is lacking in American churches is the transition to college. We do a good job of meeting teenagers while they are in middle school and high school, but often, we do very little after graduation. After reading The Slow Fade last year, it has been on my mind that we need to push the “finish line” back a few years. So, as we continue in this journey of making this a better transition at our church, I thought it would be good to bring you along — just in case you want to learn from our experience… or mistakes.

I believe our goal is to help students not graduate from their faith when they graduate from high school. We need to do more to make sure they continue in their discipleship, and we need to help them stay connected with God’s church.

For starters, I thought I would share what we currently do at RCC to help this transition…

  • One of our parents meet with high school students in the fall to discuss plans and help parents navigate the college application process.
  • We invite the high school seniors over to our house at least once or twice during the school year to talk candidly about their college plans. We discuss what schools they are looking at and begin to help them develop some churches/ministries around each school.
  • We try to stay connected with our college students by phone calls, Facebook, and care packages throughout the school year.
  • When they are back for summer and holiday breaks, we try to have at least one event to get them together, share stories, and catch up.

It is our goal that these things will help our college students stay connected when they go away, instead of feeling like they no longer belong to the church. We also want to do our best to partner with parents, as this can be a difficult transition period.

Can we do more? Sure we can! In fact, we have some other plans to put into place very soon. However, that is for another blog at a later time.

For now, my question to you is: What do you have in place already to help your high school students make the transition?

Reflections on Taking Up My Cross to Follow Jesus, Away from Family

This morning, I received a phone call from my father, where he proceeds to tell me my sister was involved in a car accident. To sum up what happened, her and a friend were rear-ended while sitting on the side of the road. She has been released from the hospital with a mild concussion, neck pain, and some memory loss regarding the accident.

I say all this for two reasons. First, your prayers are greatly appreciated. Second, it has obviously got me thinking more about my sister. It is an odd series of thoughts. That is not because we do not get along or anything. It is just that we have never been incredibly close. This is partly because we are five years apart. We had our own group of friends, we were only in the same school for 2 years (during elementary), and we are different genders. I moved out when I started college, and did not really spend much time back in my home town. And just when we were getting a bit closer, God called me to ministry several hundred miles away.

This is extremely difficult for me. I do not vocalize it much, because I never want to seem like that type of a person. However, it does get overwhelming every once in a while and I feel like I need to tell someone. Today has been one of those days. Not that I could have done anything, but I wished I could. And part of me thought that, “If only I was there…” Similar thoughts have crossed my mind when my great-grandmother was not doing well about a year or so ago.

I guess what I really want to say is that I am constantly being reminded how ministry/missions can be lonely, especially when God removes you from your family and friends. Visits are never long enough, and it feels like time creeps by as you await another time to catch up. Technology helps but it is not the same. Nights are spent wondering what life would be like if we actually had friends and family around. Days go by when you wonder if it will feel like “home.” At times, you get discouraged at how difficult it is to make friends, trying to remember when was the last time people just wanted to hang out and share life together. Do not get me wrong; there are amazing days when things go so good! I thank God for these times!! But there are other times when you think about such things.

If you are considering ministry as a profession, I can only tell you to pray. Make sure it is what God wants for your life, because it will not always be easy. It will not always be filled with people giving their lives to Jesus, church growth, and no problems. And if He calls you to leave your friends and family, pray even more, because you will soon begin to understand what Jesus means in Matthew 8:18-22 and Matthew 10.

I know that God will help my sister get through this, and He will continue to watch over my family and friends I “left behind,” but I just want to be honest. It is tough sometimes.