I just finished a staff retreat here at Restoration House with my fellow staff members from RCC.  I’ve got to tell you that my mind is so scattered.  I’m not sure what to think, do, say, etc.  In so many ways, I feel overwhelmed and inadequate.  I know that God will use me and that He will shine through my weaknesses, but it’s still hard.  We spent a lot of time talking about the future of RCC.  It was GREAT!  However, what came out of that conversation was that we need to spend a lot more time and effort reaching out to the community.  I took a big part in this, because that is my heart.  That is one of the reasons I am in full-time ministry in New England.  I want to reach out to the unreached, unchurched, and unloved.  I want to be a light in the dark.  I want to help RCC be a beacon to the many lost and hurting people in this area.  I want to love those who have been burnt by the church in the past and show them it doesn’t have to been so bad.  So, after all this talk, I end up the one who is probably going to lead up this effort — ME!  Sure I have the passion for it, but I’m so afraid that I am not gifted or experienced enough.  I do not want to get overwhelmed or fail.  This has the potential to consume me and take me away from my primary responsibilities with the teens.  Needless to say, I need your prayers!  I have lots of ideas, ways we can connect with people and ways to make sure we follow up with them.  I just don’t have the time nor the personality to do everything.  I need people to surround, help, encourage, and support me.

I also think to the future of Yvette and I.  I really miss her being here with me.  I got very use to her being around when she visited at the end of December and early January.  It was really cool.  It’s tough on both of us being this far apart.  She has decided to come out this summer to help with Sojourn Collegiate Ministries in Boston, which is awesome and I can’t wait.  But until then, it is hard.  Today is our 1 year and 5 month anniversary of dating.

The last thing I’d like to talk about is that I am going back to LCC next month (Feb. 4-7) to lead a workshop on Youth Ministry in New England.  This will be a great time for 2 things.  One, I will get to spend time with Yvette.  And two, I will get to share my passion and experience about what God is doing out here in the area of youth ministry.  I cannot wait, but at the same time, I again feel inadequate.  I will have only been here for 4-5 months, and I am to lead a workshop on this?  Granted it is something that I volunteered to do, and that I believe God will use, but it’s still hard.  Please pray for insight and that I will be able to gather info from other youth ministers in the area before I head back to Illinois in a few weeks.

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